怎么办？

怎么办？多年来，这荷尔蒙都没发挥作用，竟然在这非常时期发挥的强大无比的作用。
现在的我就像是一个“纯情”的少女，幼稚得像一个得不到糖果的小女孩一样，费尽心思地想着要得到的东西。
二十多岁的我竟然被这荷尔蒙操控着，原以为能有控制自己内心自如的我，现在却已乱了阵脚。
心跳加速，手脚却冰冷，双颊绯红。。。。
我到底怎么了？？？
是荷尔蒙的错吗？
还是我自己想太多了？？？

等

等着他。。。
等着他的主动
等着他的信息
等着他的呼唤
等着他的亲近
等着他的劝导
等着他的一切
等着他，他知道吗？
还是，他等着我主动？？？

Learning to besome a more mature person (2 years in Sabah)

I am willing to offer my life to God.

Somehow, I will ask myself that the reason I do so is just a token of appreciation to God's love and grace that He's been shown to me and my family?

What is actually the correct attitude to commit one’s life to God?

Anyway,

I would like to write this passage with a heart of gratitude for what’s God had been leading and molding me for the past two years in Sabah.

I have learnt is to put God as the top priority of my life. The more I love God the more blessing I received from God.

The second thing is never let pride overwhelms me.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

I learnt this lesson in the 1^st sem of my second year. I was over confident to myself that I would be able to get good result without spending much effort in my study. Instead of studying, I joined many activities in campus and church. Moreover, I preferred to spend my time in watching movies than to do devotion. As the result, I got the worse results for that sem. I had been deeply regretted for my arrogant before I was thankful for God’s love in molding and pruning my life.

Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. Hebrew 12:6

I can see the blessing of God to the descendants of those who worship and love Him. His promises never fail.

...showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments. Exodus 20:6

I am grateful that I have a pair of faithful and devoted parents. Thanks God for His abundant grace and mercy bestowed upon them. No matter how hard are the trials they faced in the path of ministering God and the people, they are able to fix their eyes at God. No matter how injustice they have been treated, how nonsense are the attitudes of others do against them, they are still able to Bless them before God. Our almighty and sovereign God knows the hardship of my parents endured, He blessed us (children) in every aspect.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrew 10:23

I know He will still Love me no matter how terrible am I

I m dissappointed for what I performed in these two days....

But, Thanks for His comfort...

Everthing will be well soon...

It is just a trasition period...

...

Where are you???

Where are you, GOD???

R YOU abondoned me???

What should I do???

I can't help myself, I need help frm YOU...

PLS, I beg for Your mercy...

PLS...PLS...PLS...

I nearly devastated...

pls hold me up...hold me up...

I cant sustain more stress than this...

I have to learn the ways in distressing. I keep avoiding the issues that are really matter to me.
I cant bear any mistake that I've done.That's the reason I am stress, I think.
After tonight I found that I cant afford any admonishment. I knew I was wrong before being told, but I didn't take action to correct it.
I thought everything would be fine, but the truth is it isn't.
After being told, I cant accept the mistake that I have done.
How stupid am I!!!
Push and force myself to wake up at 5am during weekdays no matter how reluctant I am, just because I am asked to fetch kids to school.
Am I a driver or a student?
Do I need to move out?
What can I do?