等

等着他。。。
等着他的主动
等着他的信息
等着他的呼唤
等着他的亲近
等着他的劝导
等着他的一切
等着他，他知道吗？
还是，他等着我主动？？？

Learning to besome a more mature person (2 years in Sabah)

I am willing to offer my life to God.

Somehow, I will ask myself that the reason I do so is just a token of appreciation to God's love and grace that He's been shown to me and my family?

What is actually the correct attitude to commit one’s life to God?

Anyway,

I would like to write this passage with a heart of gratitude for what’s God had been leading and molding me for the past two years in Sabah.

I have learnt is to put God as the top priority of my life. The more I love God the more blessing I received from God.

The second thing is never let pride overwhelms me.

Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

I learnt this lesson in the 1^st sem of my second year. I was over confident to myself that I would be able to get good result without spending much effort in my study. Instead of studying, I joined many activities in campus and church. Moreover, I preferred to spend my time in watching movies than to do devotion. As the result, I got the worse results for that sem. I had been deeply regretted for my arrogant before I was thankful for God’s love in molding and pruning my life.

Whom the Lord loves He chastens, and scourges every son whom He receives. Hebrew 12:6

I can see the blessing of God to the descendants of those who worship and love Him. His promises never fail.

...showing love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments. Exodus 20:6

I am grateful that I have a pair of faithful and devoted parents. Thanks God for His abundant grace and mercy bestowed upon them. No matter how hard are the trials they faced in the path of ministering God and the people, they are able to fix their eyes at God. No matter how injustice they have been treated, how nonsense are the attitudes of others do against them, they are still able to Bless them before God. Our almighty and sovereign God knows the hardship of my parents endured, He blessed us (children) in every aspect.

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful. Hebrew 10:23

I know He will still Love me no matter how terrible am I

I m dissappointed for what I performed in these two days....

But, Thanks for His comfort...

Everthing will be well soon...

It is just a trasition period...

...

Where are you???

Where are you, GOD???

R YOU abondoned me???

What should I do???

I can't help myself, I need help frm YOU...

PLS, I beg for Your mercy...

PLS...PLS...PLS...

I nearly devastated...

pls hold me up...hold me up...

I cant sustain more stress than this...

I have to learn the ways in distressing. I keep avoiding the issues that are really matter to me.
I cant bear any mistake that I've done.That's the reason I am stress, I think.
After tonight I found that I cant afford any admonishment. I knew I was wrong before being told, but I didn't take action to correct it.
I thought everything would be fine, but the truth is it isn't.
After being told, I cant accept the mistake that I have done.
How stupid am I!!!
Push and force myself to wake up at 5am during weekdays no matter how reluctant I am, just because I am asked to fetch kids to school.
Am I a driver or a student?
Do I need to move out?
What can I do?

Disappointment 失望

成绩已经公布了。Result has been released.
退步了很多很多。My result for the 1st sem of 2nd year is disappointed me.
自问：I keep asking my self:
有努力吗？Did you put effort in study?
有。不过好像是往错的方向。I did. But seem like my effort is putting to the wrong direction.
想想上学期学了什么？What I've learned in the pass sem?
似乎只能用“忙”来形容。Nth. What I remembered is busy.
虚空，虚空。一切都是虚空。。。Meaningless, meaningless, utterly meaningless
我没有很好的学习背景,I do not have a great background in study
一切都是神的恩典。everything is by the grace of God

洛克菲勒曾告訴兒子，起點不是終點，不管出身如何，日後成敗，還是靠自己的努力。

鄭丁賢‧葉亞來和洛克菲勒2010-12-27 08:39
John D.Rockefeller

我的的确确有努力， 可能不够努力。Ya, I did put a lot of effort, probably not enough,though.
算了吧！Haiz....
下周就是新的学期，有新的发展空间。Next week is the brave new sem, a new space and area for me to develop I, myself.
这次要学会忙中有节制，玩中有自制。The lesson I have learn from last sem is self-control.